Pop-Gun Offence Pops Out In Playoff Losses

The Super Channel Stars' first (last?) season came to a disappointing end on Saturday, as the Stars dropped both playoff games by scores of 14-5 and 14-6, respectively.

But let's focus on the positives here, eh? The Stars had NINE players on the day, and all of them showed up on time, which makes for the biggest moral victory of the season. Plus, despite the team's collective inability to create offence, the defence was quite sound.

The first game matched the Stars against the Oilers at 8:30 AM. The Stars had to wait to settle into their team dugout, having to wake the incumbent residents (in the form of two homeless people) before they could set up shop. After Arthur hit a three-run home run to start off the game, the Oilers came back over the next seven innings to post a 14-5 victory in a game that took under an hour to play.

The loss should have matched the Stars against the losers of the Global TV-New Cap Radio game for the right to go to the prestigious "D" Final. However, for once, the Stars actually benefited from a default loss, as New Cap were no-shows against Global. Result? The Stars had a direct pass to the "D" Final, where they would face the Cushman Wakefielders.

Unfortunately, the result was very similar, with the Stars losing the final 14-6, and also losing the chance of wearing the "D" Championship medals (made up of various bottlecaps found around Airways Park) around their collective neck. Everyone went home slightly distraught, more than slightly sunburned, but comfortable in the fact that they gave it their best.

Watch for a season review soon!

Stars Dress Ten(!) Players In Season Ending Loss

The Super Channel Stars achieved one of their largest moral victories of the season, fielding TEN players (eventually) in a 17-5 loss to the Avengers that closed out the 2008 regular season. Jeff Cowie was finally able to make it out to another game (eventually) to pitch in only his second contest of the year. His first was a win for the Stars - something which only happed one other time all year.....

But, with this tune-up against the top notch Avengers out of the way, the Stars are ready for the playoffs on Saturday, August 23. Well, they would be, if half of their players weren't out of town that weekend. (And when you consider that THAT half of players is about a half of the number that originally signed up to play at the beginning of the year....well, you do the math.) But rest assured, a team will be in place to bring home sort of of consolation prize for the Stars in their inaugural season!

Go Stars!

Darrrrrr-yyyyylll! Darrrrrr-yyyyylll!

So, with less than two hours before gametime, and with a whopping 14 players confirmed for the Super Channel Stars' game against the Vunderbatz, I, confident for the first time since...well, ever, that we would field a team comprising of more than the bare minimum of eight players, sat back in my chair and beamed, recalling a scene in the Simpsons' classic episode "Homer at the Bat".

In the episode (for those who are unaware of its existence), Mr. Burns, owner of the local nuclear plant, hires nine Major League Baseball pros for token jobs at the plant simply to stack his company softball team and win the championship. The day before the big game, Burns sits back in his chair and beams (much as I did), and says :

"Smithers, there's no way I can lose this bet. Unless, of course, my nine all-stars fall victim to nine separate misfortunes and are unable to play tomorrow. But that will never happen! Three misfortunes, that's possible. Seven misfortunates, there's an outside chance. But nine misfortunes? I'd like to see that!"

Of course, amazingly, eight of the nine afore-mentioned all-stars did indeed fall victim to eight separate misfortunes, setting the pattern for my own misadventure last night. Numerous emails, text messages and phone calls deluged me in the span of half an hour, all from players canceling at the last minute due to rain, drought, famine, or some other apocryphal event that would prevent them from making the game.

The last email came early Tuesday morning from an angry member of the Vunderbatz, who chastised me for leaving their team high and dry (the key word being DRY, as no rain at all fell on Velma Baker Park on Monday night). I could only sigh and take my beatings from him, depressed in the fact that we never had a Darryl Strawberry on the team who just might have escaped misfortune and hit nine home runs (and, perhaps, play nine field positions simultaneously) and lead us to victory.

Anyway, the last regular season game (and, at this rate, the last in franchise history) will take place on Thursday, August 14 against the Avengers at sunny Kaskitayo Park.

Blah Blah Blah

Blah blah blah not enough players blah blah 28-7 blah blah blah game halted mercifully after four and a half merciless innings blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah next default loss game Monday, August 11 blah blah blah.